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Accept your feelings
23rd Apr, 2013 at 5:38pm
 

Accept your feelings


Have you ever felt really angry or afraid? Embarrassed or lonely? Of course you have; they are just some of the common side-effects of being alive. Our emotions are like the weather: they are changeable, but more significantly, they are beyond our control. We have no say in whether it's hot or cold, rainy or sunny. All we can do is adjust accordingly - if it's cold we rug up, if it's raining we take an umbrella.




Ups and downs


When it comes to emotions, most of us want it to be sunny all the time. We prefer 'positive' emotions, like love, joy, happiness, contentment and gratitude, to 'negative' emotions, like fear, sadness, anger, despair and bitterness. The problem is we all experience many emotions: hundreds of different emotional states can arise within us in just one day. If we try and hang on to those we like, and push away those we don't, we can create tremendous tension.




Acceptance is key


What heals the gap between how we want to feel and how we actually are feeling, is acceptance. No amount of wanting the sun to come out when it's raining is going to make a difference - you're fighting a losing battle! So instead of attempting to change something you can't, try being curious.

Each time you accept an uncomfortable emotional state without running away from it, you start dismantling the tension that builds up when you're trying to avoid it. Even the worst storm will pass. However, when we try to stifle strong emotions instead of resolving them, they build up and come out in unhealthy outbursts, depression and even illness.

So why not try making friends with your feelings, even the uncomfortable ones. You might find the yucky ones aren't as scary when you consciously choose to accept them, rather than run away from them.

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